Two years ago today, My mom had her heart attack. Those 24 hours are forever engraved in my memories. I wear this necklace everyday, to help me remember all the lessons I learned.
1. You Are Not Guaranteed Tomorrow.
August 5, 2012 was a normal day. My mother had come to see me in Conway. We woke up early that morning and helped with the Kid's Triathlon. Then we went and worked in my classroom all day. We had a pretty good day, just getting things done, having fun, and laughing. Then she told me she was really tired on the way home from Morrilton. From the first time she said she was tired to thirty minutes later my Mamma was in a heap in my floor.
She had no signs she was going to have a heart attack that day. She had no warnings, she would have triple bypass in a hospital she had never stepped foot in.
I remind myself all the time how much of a normal day that was. Scary things do not come with flashing lights and warning signs. We always need to remember to live life without any regrets, because we are not promised a day to fix our mistakes.
2. Live Life To The Fullest.
Make every moment count. When they ran my Mamma wheeling her in a stretcher to the cath lab. I was not really sure the outcome, that was about to happen. I have always been the one sick, I had never been in the caretaker roll.
It really made me think, say what you want to say to people. Be who you want to be. Live life like you want to live, and do not hold back. Make the most out of the dash on your tombstone as you can.
3. Life Is Not About Things.
As I have said in another blog; about cleaning out. Things do not matter. You can not take things with you.
(I know I am writing this explaining the meaning of my necklace, but it isn't the necklace that is important, it is the memories, the necklace triggers.)
Things weigh you down. While Mamma was having her heart attack she was laying in my bed, I was begging her to go to hospital, but she was worried about getting coats for us in the waiting room, because, "It is always cold in there and you know how long you have to wait in the ER."
I listened to my Mamma and grabbed the coats, but now looking back, that was seconds that I could have been doing something else, a moment in time I really didn't need to worry about things.
4. Life Is All About "Making Memories."
My mother has always raised me with the saying, "It's all about making memories."
When I was sitting in the lobby all by myself, before Amy, Randy, Jennifer, Hunter, and Deb all showed up that night, I kept thinking about all the memories I have been blessed to share with my Mamma.
Yes we have done extreme things; sky diving, diving in Honduras, hiking the Grand Canyon, riding horses in Mexico, snow skiing, but honestly I was thinking about all the times we had just been together and enjoyed each other. The times we shared dinner and laughed, the times we cried together, the times she held my hand when I was sick, the everyday life moments that really matter. Enjoy the everyday moments!
5. Love People Not Stuff.
When my Mamma was in the hospital, it was people who brought joy. It was their hug, their laugh, their true concern for my Mamma. No thing in the world can offer true compassion.
I will forever be in debited to the people who sat up all night with me the first night. Amy, Randy, Jennifer, Deb, and Hunter, you will always have a special place in my heart. Y'all get that just sitting with people matter. Thanks!
6. Be Happy In Your Situation - Live Life With the Cards You are Holding.
As soon as Mamma woke up she started thanking God for things.
She was happy she was with me, so she was not by herself, and someone could call 911.
She was happy she was in Conway because the surgery she ended up needing, Searcy does not perform.
She was happy the random dog was in my yard so the dog's owner could help me call 911.
I could go on and on with all the things my Mamma was happy with. At a time where she could have thrown up her hands and said, "Why me?" She was already making lists of things to thank God for. She just kept saying, "it is all in his plan."
7. Don't Meet a Stranger.
When I was in the hospital, I would look at other people in the waiting rooms and think, "I wonder their story." It really made me think, when you are out and about, you never know any one's background story. You do not know the situation they left this morning, or what they have to go home to tonight. Be the smile they need. Try to be happy, say hello to others. You might be their only link to compassion during the day.
You are blessed, you are alive, you can smile, you are filled with compassion and love. Pass it on!
8. Do Not Hold Grudges.
Always put the ball in the other persons court. If you are in a tiff with someone who you love, do not hold on to the grudge, it will only eat you up.
If there is an issue make sure you have let the other person understand, you are OK with the situation, would love to talk it out, or ready to meet at the table. You are not promised time in the end to call people you were mean to.
When I was thinking of people I needed to call, there was no one I could think of that I needed to call so Mamma and that person could bury the hatchet.
9. Treat everyone with "Kid Gloves."
My Aunt Becky and I were talking to the Dr. at one point during the first 24 hours. We were asking questions about what was going on, how we should handle situations, and double checking he was taking care of her to meet our expectations. He said something that will always be in my mind, "Now girls, we are treating her with kid gloves. We already brought her back from heaven twice. He doesn't want her at the moment."
Everyone is some one's daughter, mother, sister, father, brother, or son and treat everyone like you would want your family treated. Treat others with "kid gloves." Make sure you do not half do anything.
10. Find Purpose in your life
It was amazing to see how my Mamma was at peace with everything. No she was not ready to go meet God, but she knows she has made a mark on this world. She has made a difference in many student's lives, she has gone to Honduras, she has made memories with those she loves, and she has constantly worked to bring people to Heaven.
If you have no purpose in your life, I can not imagine you being so calm being faced with life threatening situation.
11. Do Not Put off Till Tomorrow What You Can Do Today - Unless in the Grand Scheme Of Things It really Does Not Matter.
So one of the reasons Mamma was at my house that weekend, was she wanted a break from re-doing her bedroom. Her bedroom was completely torn up. She had been ripping wallpaper off and planning on painting her room this real "Nice" yellow.
Well we got off track and started thinking about things, we did not want her to go into her house all torn up. So Josh went in and finished her room. He painted it the color she had bought, again a real "nice" yellow. He did exactly what her plan was.
When we finally got to bring her home, she admitted the "nice" yellow was horrible. So even though were trying to help take care of things she had put off, we ended up painting the room again, because the room was so bright no one could have rested in it.
So in the grand scheme of things, the room really didn't matter. It was OK to put off till tomorrow, because unless it deals with people it can always be put off.
OK, so let me explain my necklace now. The fingers are the sign for I love you.
When I was little in Mountain Home Montessori School, we would learn little bits of sign language. Honestly, this is the only sign I remember. It means I love you. I thought it was so cool. I would show it to all my family. It kind of became a sign to my family that reminded them of me.
When my GrandVol got sick with Alzheimer's, in 1995, right before his last Christmas. He saw a pin that had a hand forming the "I Love You" sign.
He said, EmilyAnne. So, my Aunt ordered it for me for Christmas that year. Needless to say the "I love you" sign has many meanings in my family.
My mother has worn the pin, anytime she just feels like she needs a hug from her Dad.
After Mom's heart attack, we had to wake her up to tell her, there was complications and she needed to have more surgery. She had tubes going everywhere and could not talk. She just kept making the "I Love You" sign every time we were explaining what was going on to her.
When she got out of the hospital, Josh knew the sign was very special, and bought my Aunt, My Mamma, and I all a charm.
After my mother graduated Cardiac Rehab, and we knew everything was going to be OK, She bought me the heart. It is a heart by James Avery that represents the love for a mother and daughter. It has one side bigger than the other to help represent a mother's embrace for their child.
So, now you know, anytime you see it, the meaning of my necklace.
You never know who is learning lessons from your life, but I am glad I can learn so much from my Mamma.
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